We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
