Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
