To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize