Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
