So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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