well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
