I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
