She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
