she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
