and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
