Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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