Pappa wants mamma naked
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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