apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
