I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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