i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they're like a gay fantastic four
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
