that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
