what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
