are you still at the devil's house?
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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