he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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