Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
