my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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