There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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