we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
