WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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