Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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