3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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