Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
