I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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