Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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