I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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