if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
