Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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