We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
