His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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