I can tuck mytits in my pants
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
