rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize