woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
