Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
