I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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