your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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