Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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