guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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