I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize