garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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