She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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