i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
