i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
