i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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