Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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