don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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