i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
