I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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