Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
