Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
