I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
