White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
