Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
