Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
