I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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