I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
