Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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