trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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