I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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