Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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