Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
