I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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