Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
