Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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